'The Noisy Tide of Time'

Essie and the Elephant

As told to Bartholomew Bartles, the Bard of Badenhoeven

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Essie, and her bestest friend in the whole world was an elephant named Peanuts. Peanuts and Essie did everything together. Peanuts would let Essie ride on his back whenever she wanted to. She would scramble up one of his legs like climbing up a great big tree or he would put his trunk on the ground and she would run up it really fast or she would tug on his big floppy ear and he would kneel down so she could hop right up onto his back! Essie never got bored when she was riding Peanuts. There were always interesting and lovely things to see and colorful new places to go. And if there was nothing to look at, Essie would do cartwheels and backflips and handsprings all over Peanuts’ back! And sometimes Peanuts would let out a big trumpet sound and all the other animals would get scared and run away. (Except mice. Peanuts doesn’t like mice.)

One day Essie and Peanuts decided that they should go to the Crescent Islands because her friends needed to go there. And that day Essie discovered that Peanuts was really a Magic Elephant! He could walk right on the top of the water just like a great big boat! So Essie and Peanuts went to the Crescent Island and found the rock of the fathers or something and then found the professor guy and then her friends were happy. And then they discovered that the Crescent Island had lots of elephants all over the place and Essie and Peanuts lived happily ever after because there were no mice on the island either.

The end!

Bart: That’s a very entertaining story Essie. Good job.

Essie: Thank you!

B: Essie, you look a little green about the gills.

E: ?

B: Essie, are you feeling all right? You look a little sick.

E: Oh! When I thought of the story I was twirling.

B: Twirling?

E: Yes! In the dress the big man bought me! It’s so pretty!

B: Well that sounds like fun…

E: It was! Well…until…

B: Until what?

E: Well, I, uh…I twirled lots and lots and lots! …And then I got a little sick in the corner.

B: Oh Essie. Did you at least clean it up?

E: No, I didn’t have to!

B: Why not?

E: Because two pointy kitties came out of a hole in the wall and ate it all up!

B: <facepalm>


A pleasant jape indeed, my lady.

Essie and the Elephant

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